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I’ll let someone else prompt me today – and then fill you in on the weekend’s events.
Monday Madness Meme (mmadness.blogspot.com)
1. Name three people you would pick (and why) if you could choose who to be stranded on a deserted island with.
Well, of course, the first person would be Sweetie. Why you ask? Because. No, really. It is so hard to see ay part of my life without him. Without being near him. Without being able to reach out and touch him – at least once a day. Last week when he was away and I was at home, it was very difficult – because he wasn’t here. Because we weren’t able to just reach out and ‘connect’. While we still spent hours and hours together on the phone when he was in his room for the night, and I was at home doing nothing, it wasn’t the same thing as curling up next to him in bed and laying my head on his chest and hearing his comforting rumbly voice.
The second person…hm…This is hard, because there are so many people in the world that fascinate me, so much knowledge out there to be gathered from so many different sources. The Dalai Lama I think would be the second person. From everything that I have seen and read, there is such a serene sense of peace that surrounds that man. And along with that, a vast knowledge of things that other people can only dream about. Sweetie mentioned seeing a book by him at the airport on his travels – he’s thinking about picking it up. I’ve read one or two of his books myself – and I am always left thinking, and deciding that there is so much more out there than I will ever be able to comprehend. I strive to keep a very positive attitude around me – which is difficult at times – I struggle with the external optimism and the internal pessimism. For the Dali Lama, it seems to come so easily. There’s a lesson there, I’m just not quite sure what it is at the moment.
The third person….well, there is no rule on the fact that the person needs to be living at the time of the banishment to the deserted island, so I pick Albert Einstein. I think that a conversation between myself, Sweetie, the Dalai Lama and Albert Einstein would be extremely interesting. (I would probably not be able to contribute much as I sit in awe of the brain power around the table between the rest of them, but hey, I’d at least learn something). When I was in college, Einstein always fascinated me. Heck, I was a chemistry geek, I think it was part of the rules. “Thou Shall hang a picture of the revered physicist above your desk� (Mine was the one with his tongue sticking out). While I never fully grasped everything there is to know about the theory of relativity, and everything else that Einstein came up with, it was always something that made me think. Look at things a little bit differently. See the world from a different perspective. And while I’m no physicist, I consider myself a fairly smart cookie…and the lessons can apply to nearly any aspect of life around me.
If there was a fourth option, it would be Charles Darwin. Evolution has always intrigued me. Especially since I have a fundamentalist Christian background, I needed to find a way to tie it all together in my head while I was in college, so I didn’t lose my mind. (Stop laughing!)  That would be another conversation I’d love to have.
2. What is your favorite genre of film and what is your favorite movie from that genre?
Well, I’m a girl. So therefore, I really enjoy the ‘chick flick’. Romantic Comedy. I also like Drama. I’m not a huge action movie or horror flick girl. The last movie I watched was ‘Love Actually’. Last night, while curled up in bed with Sweetie. Cute flick. Glad we got to watch it together. My all time favorite Romantic Comedy is ‘You’ve Got Mail’, closely followed by ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are always a good combination for me. I’ve seen Titanic too many times to count. I’ve watched a bazillion Jennifer Lopez movies. Dillon McDermott is another favorite actor. Hugh Grant. There are a bunch of them. But for me, the enjoyment of the movie is more in the company I’m with than in the movie itself. Yes, I watch movies alone. Yes, I enjoy it when I do. However, I also really enjoy being snuggled up with someone, sharing a bowl of popcorn or a snuggly blanket. Holding hands, laughing together, and really enjoying it.
4. What are you driving these days? What is it’s good and bad points? Would you buy another one, and why or why not?
I’m still driving my 2004 Ford Focus. It’s a car. I’ve had some problems with it lately, which has cost me a fair amount of money, but for the most part, it’s a reliable little thing. Would I buy another one? Probably not. I like the car because it’s good on gas and until recently wasn’t too bad on the wallet. But it’s not as ‘luxe’ as I’m used to. I used to have a Monte Carlo, and I loved it. It was bigger, it was comfy, and everything was power. I ride around in a Lexus now, (Sweetie’s Car), and well, that’s just awesome. Mom’s car is nice. My Aunt and Uncle’s trucks are sweet. So, if I ever get a new car, I’d definitely trade up.
5. Lost, 24, or both?
Hmmm…I watch both actually – when I get the chance. (Need to remember to tell Sweetie to save me some space on TiVo!)
6. You’ve been very good this year. What should Santa bring you for Christmas?
Well, since I’ve been so good this year, Santa saw fit to give me everything I wanted in September – not December. Life has been good to me over the past few weeks, and for the first time in my life, I’m so happy that I smile all the time. Even when I’m crying because there are so many big things in my life that I’m not exactly sure how to deal with them. But things are so very very good.
Which leads me to our weekend re-cap.
Friday night, I went home from work. Sweetie worked out of the house on Friday, so he was there waiting for me when I got in. We talked for a little bit, and decided to go out for dinner. We headed out to Crazy Fire Mongolian Grill. It was a place we’d talked about going to a few times before, but never had the chance to for various reasons. It was a neat place. I enjoyed myself, and hope we go back. Seeing that it’s one of his favorite places, and one place he takes his parents when they’re in town.
Saturday morning, we headed north. I was taking Sweetie home to meet Mom, as well as both brothers, and the rest of the family. Yes, I was nervous. It’s been a long long time since I’ve taken someone home to meet the family – and Mom never really liked anyone that I’ve dated before. So, yes, I was a little nervous. Him…notsomuch. It’s hard to not like him though. We got to the house, checked on Maddie, I showed him around. And then we left to go hang out at the house. Everyone was there. It was a house full! I can’t believe how BIG the girls are getting. I remember when they were just little things. And now, well, heck, Jessie’s going to be driving soon. Tina looks a lot like I did when I was her age, Amber’s full of herself – and it’s cute to watch. And Nikki…she’s gotten SO big since Christmas. Kevin and Keith were both there, and they look good. I was glad to see Keith – home from overseas, and hopefully staying on this side of the pond for a while. (I just absolutely hate him being overseas right now).  We sat around and talked, laughed, shared some silly family stories, some not so silly ones too. But the important thing was that we were together, as a family. All of us. Including Sweetie. Mom likes him. She’s glad that I’m happy. She even said that I ‘look different’ now that I’m with him. I think it’s because I smile so much more now. (this is apparently a good look for me!). Around 10-ish, we went back to my place, snuggled up in bed with Maddie, and fell asleep. It had been a long day for the drive (the weather was horrid) and we were both not feeling all THAT well, so a good night’s sleep was something we needed.
Sunday, we woke up – were going to head back to Mom’s for a ‘family photo session’. But she and Keith and his family went to her church to fix something. So, Sweetie and I got up, got dressed, went to Panera for lunch, then came home and turned Maddie’s life upside down. We put her in a carrier, packed up her litter box, and moved her south.  *sigh* She was good in the car on the way down – didn’t make a peep, curled up in her carrier. When we got to the house, the dogs were going nuts, and I know that scared her some. The other cats were around too, and I know she was scared. I let her out of her carrier, and she went and hid in a corner for the night. Booboo the wonder kitty wanted to say hi, and Maddie hissed – which is something I’ve never heard her do much. And it upset me – because she was so upset. So scared. So out of her element. Everything that was ‘home’ for her was gone now. She’s with me, and she’s not alone – but she’s far from comfortable yet. I know that it will take time for her (me) to adjust to all of this, but Sweetie has been wonderful. He thinks Maddie’s a sweet kitty, and will fit in once the ‘pecking order’ is established. I was upset last night, and we laid in bed and talked, and he held me while I cried over all of this. It’s not easy for me. And I told him that. I’d been hurt SO many times by men who claimed to love me before…that I’m just waiting for it all to blow up in my face again. It’s almost like a fairy tale, or a wonderful dream, and I’m just waiting for it to end and for me to end up alone.
But this is different. I know it on many many many different levels. And this morning, he told me something that helps – more than he knows –
**me** – Thank you for last night Sweetie
**Sweetie** – For? Talking? No problem at all.
**me** talking me down, making me feel a little less skittish and scared.
**me** validating my feelings by telling me some things care you too.
**me** basically, letting me know that no matter how stupid I get, you’ll still love me.
**Sweetie** – They do, and I do :- )
**Sweetie** – It’s all an ongoing process.
**Sweetie** – There is no happily ever after
**Sweetie** – Just doing the best we can all along the way.
I never needed a ‘reason’ to love him. I just always did. I never could explain the ‘why’ of it. It was just always there. That comfortable feeling. Of slipping into an old familiar sweater, feeling the warmth surround you. The softness, the familiarity. The feelings that you’ve felt a million times before, and never realized how much you missed them until you found them again. Knowing that he’s such a wonderful and caring man, wanting me to be happy. Doing what he can to make it that way. Someone who tries to keep me ‘up’, by supporting me, holding my hand when I’m scared. Someone who thinks nothing of holding me while I cry because my cat is scared, and I’m too ashamed to admit that it’s because I’m scared too….but he knows it anyway. Someone who will snuggle up behind me in his sleep, wrap his arms around me, and whisper that he loves me.
Loving him is like coming home. It’s where I always wanted to be. It’s where I’ve always belonged. And now that I’m here, I’m adjusting to the process of settling into it. But it is coming. And it’s a wonderful thing.
I hope he knows, that each day that goes by, it gets easier. That each moment that passes, I love him more than the last. That each step we take together, I am learning so much.
And I will always love him for it.