Four Days Out…

I can’t sleep.  Not quite sure what’s going on, but I can tell you, I’m going to get pretty sick of this pretty darn fast if it doesn’t work itself out pretty soon.  I miss being snuggled up in bed with Charles and the pets.

I’m hot tonight, can’t get comfortable, and I’m just – well – cranky.  So, I’m out of bed, surfing the internet.  I found a link to some TV shows that I like – so as I write this, I’m watching House – the one about gastric bypass, which is ticking me off a little bit.  I’ll keep it handy for any future nights of being sleepless – because they say on OH.com that sleeplessness is a side effect of the surgery. (oh joy)

Today I was pretty sick of the ‘status quo’.  Sick of the broth, sick of the juice, sick of the jello.  Sick of everything.  It was my first day home alone, but I don’t think that had anything to do with it.  Spiritwise I was doing pretty good – I got flowers from Raelynn and  Julie, which made me feel pretty good (and a whole lotta loved!)  I spent some time chit chatting with Sandy, and a few guildies.

But overall, I’m bored. Bored bored bored bored and tired of being bored.  Daytime TV sucks, I can’t concentrate to read, don’t feel like playing WoW, and I’m really just a big ball of blah.  I watch TV, see commercials for food and think that’s just disgusting – Pizza Hut commercials make me sick – and I’m just whiney.  The poor poor pityme crap.

I did this to myself.  For all the right reasons.  It will make my life longer, my life better, more fulfilling.  I won’t be the fattest girl in the room anymore.  I won’t take a million pills and shots anymore.  It will all be worth it – the first few days are just hard.

This afternoon, I was seriously craving one of my gingerbread soy protein lattes.   Could almost taste it – and knew that the only thing on my dietary horizon was broth, jello, and juice…ugh.  Charles suggested that I try some soy milk with my torani gingerbread syrup.  I did that, tossed in some ice, and had a nice treat.  I don’t think I had any problems  from it – nothing remotely like the dumps, slimes, or foams that I’ve read about when your pouch rejects whatever it is you’ve put into it.   I’ve had some post nasal drip the past few days – not quite sure what caused it – but I can feel it draining down my throat (yeah, pretty, I know).  Perhaps that’s why I’m feeling icky.

I don’t know, I just wish it would go away.

I mean, i FEEL good – I’m not in pain, I’m tolerating everything I’m eating and drinking fairly well.  But I’m not ‘feeling’ well.

And I just want it to stop